Thursday, 31 December 2009

Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Who'd have thought...

The Emotions were midgets.

Saturday, 26 December 2009

Turkey and Parsnips

Every year Christmas comes and goes but nothing ever changes at my house. Mum bought Dad a DVD box set which was essentially for her, my brother got me a set of penguin shaped comedy key covers whereas he poured the bottle of vodka I bought him in to 4 equal measures and sold it on to his friends (raking in a hefty profit). I did also buy him some socks. Not my greatest gift idea to date. But what we don't often find in gifts, we can sometimes find in family. I realised this Christmas that I have actually been in the presence of a comedy duo year after year; my elderly grandmother and her slightly neurotic sister Beryl, and never before fully appreciated the genius of their never-ending twitterings and mumbles, all uttered without a hint of irony nor a second thought. I thought I would share some of the golden moments from the day. A snapshot of Christmas 2009, from me to you.

Beryl: He's got everything a man should have Carey Grant
Nan: He's alright like. Not my favourite.
Beryl:'re deluded.

Beryl: Mary was, essentially, a you-know-what
Nan: What's that Beryl? A prostitute
Beryl: A prostitute then. To put not too fine a point on it.

Me: Oh I'm tired now that I've eaten
Nan: Hmm (nodding towards the dog basket) you can tell by the dog, he always goes to sleep after he's eaten
Me: Nana he's not in there. That's a teddy bear
Nan: Look, he's just sleeping away over there
Me: Nana, that's a teddy bear
Nan: Oh is it? I haven't got my glasses on.

Beryl: I'll tell you what, i'm not impressed by that Lady Gaga
Nan: Oh that gogo woman. She's horrendous. I thought it was a clown. She wore a big red thing. Fancy wearing that hey. Fancy wearing that.

Monday, 14 December 2009

Currant Obsession.

Ribena has taken over my life. It's even supplanted pomegranate Rubicon as my drink of choice. 

Upon further research I have discovered that it began being fabricated during WWII as a source of vitamin for schoolchildren when oranges where hard to come by, it was distributed for free in schools as a no-brand drink and apparently started the countries lasting taste for all things of a blackcurrant nature flavour. 

I also discovered two things I would like for christmas. Pomegranate Ribena, similar to the strawberry and apple version and available in carton and squash form, and Ribena Spark,  a carbonated version of the blackcurrant original in a can. 

Saturday, 12 December 2009

It's Been A Long Time...

We shouldn't have left you. But now we mean to step to, step to.

Being in the library for the long-haul has made me crave party tunes recently. Seeing Dave Chappelle's Block Party the other week has meant A. I now want to move to America as of immediate effect and B. Lauryn Hill has had a massive ressurgance on our house stereo, I can't believe I ever let her leave.